I haven't blogged for a long time.
I have this fetish for thai songs. Probably because of the addicted visit to thailand.
And i know that it's because of who. xD
Back to the topic, Just a brief talk about Parents, I just finally realised that actually the reason for my parents' weired behaviour is because their thinking is too old-fashioned. PERIOD OK.
I didn't do well as I thought in O Levels. Now i realise someone is a jinx. And true kinda, **** is a jinx. I should never have joined it. With the couple of bastards with it, they will rot in hell. I have no doubt about that suckers.
anyway, I have massively disappointed my parents. I know they have high expectations on me. I know. But when they finally spill the beans which they try to stay cool about it. I cried. I know. I know. I should have expected it. I should have known.

Don't you think I am not embarassed.? After all the speech, massive spending on assessment books, and so much of confidence(maybe over they said?) and so much more expectations from my over-achiever aunts and uncles and aunties... Ain't I facing more pressure?

And God, I have to face them this CNY celebrations.
Imagine the kind of disgusted look they will give me. I have enough of the negative comments of me in front and behind me. I am NOT A RAFFLES GIRL. I dont earn 10k a month.

THOUGH, IT'S PARTLY DUE TO THEM, I SWEAR I WILL GET ROUGHLY THAT AMOUNT IN FUTURE.

I even get into AJ, my dream sch. The shame, of facing my pri school teacher who has so stepped me beneath his feet.. is true.. is there.

I know I am not stupid. I know the freaking admin stuff who did my grades must have been too lazy to key in my grades. WHAT INEFFICIENCY.

i worked my butts off for this paper. and i dun even get a 10 pointer.

so what am I? a freaking shit who acts smart or what.

I know nobody can help me. I know nobody can console me even to the point that I will recover. I know that finally I'm useless. I still want to thank Mr Lee.

He played a big part in my life. I don't even mind spending a more expensive gift to you. Cos my gratitude is never-ending. I've never met a teacher who's more gifted. It's the students who let him down. The students who made potential teachers-to-come hesitate on taking on this career. I will never forget him. Trust me on that.

If I cannot fulfil his dream, then, pray that his children will become as aspiring and smart. 'Cos their father is a living legend in my life.

YouYouYou, I am going to forget you. I am sick of spending my freaking youth spoiling my grades because of you. You are just a bastard(and literally yes) who recovered from your slimming and now you are just someone who's insecure... who's looking for ppl to leech to you. Who I love, my brother, has actually lived long ago, and died. He's there no more. I have no confidence of changing you. Nor, do i care. I just want to live my precious life. and i just can't be bothered even if you are worst than a bastard for the rest of your life.

YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT. GET OUT OF MY LIFE. AND I'M NOT GOING TO THINK OF ANY POSSIBILITIES. NON-EXISTENT NO MORE.

=)

i am so over it. katherine mcphee.